TO ERR IS HUMAN; TO FORGIVE, DIVINE

“TO ERR IS HUMAN; TO FORGIVE, DIVINE”

--Alexander Pope

            I have been doing a little research on the role forgiveness has on healing. Ironically, I found more material on the internet from secular sources such as the American Medical Student Association (AMSA), Mormons (Church of Latter Day Saints), and Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism than I did from mainline Christian groups (exception, Matthew West: see link to right). This struck me as peculiar since Jesus lived a life forgiving people, not only from sins they committed against God but also against himself: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). From a medical standpoint, I will use sources such as the Luskin article in the AMSA link above.

There are several health benefits to true forgiveness. These include decreased anger and negative thoughts, decreased anxiety, decreased depression and grief, and decreased vulnerability to substance abuse. The latter includes alcohol and in some cases, nicotine abuse. Do a self-experiment: remember a time when someone said or did something to you that you consider a “sin” against you. It can be real or imagined: imagined sins, as NLP has taught us, feel real to us (as an important aside, I have coined a new word “mangole” which is the ability take what someone has said that was meant to be positive or at the best neutral, and twist it around until it becomes negative and destructive to that person’s peace of mind. As in “I told her to let him describe it for me but she mangoled it up until she convinced herself I told her to shut up”). Now remember it in detail: the sounds, pitch of the voice, visual cues, even the ambient temperature. Now note your heart and respiratory rates. Perhaps even the flush of your skin. See how long-term sins can affect you even now. I believe that if you truly forgive someone, you can recollect that moment and not experience that negative zone. How do we do that?

      My personal approach is a combination of scientific (secular) practices such as NLP, some Eastern influences such as mindfulness and meditation (although meditation has also been a Christian practice and value throughout 2 millennia), and supposedly Christian values such as loving your neighbor as yourself:

Find a place to relax that brings you peace. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. I wish for Christianity’s sake that the word “mantra” wasn’t so scary but having a word or phrase to help you focus your concentration is a wonderful spiritual gift. Mine is “Shalom.” When my thoughts wonder or when my breathing rate increases, I repeat the word mentally. When you are relaxed and able to focus, bring to mind the person who sinned against you again, real or imagined. Ask God to help you forgive that person. With God’s help, forgive him or her. If there is any tension involved with remembering the incident, ask God for more help. Give thanks. Have peace in what you have done. You have done that not only for your health but for your spiritual evolution. And importantly, for that other person. It is a win-win situation.

Shalom!

Forgiveness: Overcoming the Impossible by Matthew West
 

How to Think Like a Doctor Reviews

How to Think Like a Doctor describes how a physician thinks. Whether you are a Medical Assistant student, a nursing student, a pre-med student, a new medical student, or even going into health care administration, you will benefit from discovering the process of how an M.D. or D.O. views any particular patient encounter and arrives at a diagnosis. The Diagnosis is key and ties together all of the other elements of the encounter so that a Plan can be formed to make the patient better. Improvement in health is why doctors do what they do and now you can gain an insight into that thought process. 

Even if you are not a health care student or provider, How to Think Like a Doctor will make you a more knowledgeable patient. My best patients are those who become experts about their own bodies and their own medical and health issues. In addition to diseases, doctors address pain issues, mental health issues, dietary concerns, and even societal ills. Some physicians strive to make healthy people even better. So if you fall into any of these categories, you will benefit from this book.

From the Reviews:
1. 5.0 out of 5 stars

 Initial thoughts September 13, 2013

By MBell

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

Just downloaded and I am already adding some words to my vocabulary "new favorite words list". Good stuff. I think that not only is this insightful information, but also a motivator for me personally. I don't know if anybody else feels this way, but the more knowledge I gain, the more excited and confident I feel myself becoming. I am in the beginning stages of obtaining a degree in Surgical Technology and this book is a great resource of information that otherwise would need to be obtained from years of on the job experiences. Highly recommended.

2. 5.0 out of 5 stars

 Excellent Resource May 15, 2014

By Kindle Customer

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

An excellent job of breaking down the "doctor speak" into terms that ordinary people can understand. Dr. Manhood also explains WHY doctors do a lot of the things they do, and some of the pressures put on them that have nothing to do with patient care. I highly recommend this book for all patients. The more the patient understands what the doctor needs to know, the better information they can give the doctor.

3. Well written, easily understtod September 15, 2013

By Mary Derrig

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

This is a great book for all healthcare consumers and those starting out in any healthcare field. As a registered nurse, I was impressed by the simplicity that the author brought to what many would perceive as a difficult process. It empowers the healthcare consumer by giving them insight into how a doctor moves through the process from meeting a patient to diagnosis. I have recommended this book to the many nursing students that I encounter and to patients who express an interest in taking control of their healthcare decisions. Highly recommended.

Here is one I don't understand. The reviewer would have given the book 5 stars if it had a different title maybe? I did respond to the review and challenged the reviewer to actually write an eBook that addresses the concerns expressed in the review. To give the book 1 star instead of 5 would be like giving The Wheat Belly Diet a low rating because Dr. Davis doesn't address the health concerns of cow's milk:

4.  Would be a 5 for showing, accurately, how sadly, most docs DO think May 15, 2014

By Jan P

Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

This book, I think, does accurately reflect "How many doctors think" - but, I'm giving it just one star for exactly that reason.

The case study on Mrs G reveals she's 5'3" & 200# which is morbidly obese with elevated blood pressure (142/88), and arthritis and NOT one recommendation of addressing the inflammation of her arthritis, obesity or hypertension with diet. No recommendations for diet change, weight loss, aerobic exercise to help promote wt loss (sorry, yoga alone may not do it) or a referral to a dietitian/nutritionist. And, prescribing NSAIDs is likely to just screw up her gut eventually.

That's why I refer clients to integrative or functional physicians that would address the entire client with lifestyle change and refer to somebody that could help her, not just drugs and yoga, which may be unsafe in many positions with hypertension, such as downward dog.)

DEMENTIA IN OUR PARENTS part 1

I am in the age group where many of my friends are now dealing with aging parents. Many of the latter have some form of dementia which complicates not only their health issues but also our ability to help and support them. “Dementia” does not only refer to memory loss. It also includes defects in reasoning, decision making, judgment, and language. Keep all of those factors in mind since there is an interplay between them and the affected person’s own personality.

One difficulty we face is that our parents often refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem. They can be very good at covering-up memory lapses such as joking about them (“if my head wasn't screwed on I swear I’d forget where I put it”) or even denying they have a problem. Sometimes the problem can be evident to us and sometimes they’re good at covering up. This is where I want to take you in this series of blogs: how can you identify dementia using the other symptoms? What does early, untreated dementia mean to you and your relationship with your parent? And what can we do about it?

Dementia is not a disease per se but rather a set of symptoms that cause difficulties in any or all of the following mental capabilities:                                  

1.       Memory

2.       Reasoning

3.       Judgment

4.       Decision Making

5.       Language (not only expressive but importantly, receptive)

Developing these five areas is what growing up is all about. Becoming proficient in them is what being an adult is all about. We gain better judgment because of what we remember that works and does not work. Because of that judgment, based on our experiences, we become better at reasoning and decision making, and “decision making” is the active result of reasoning whether it is in what we say or what we do. In this first part of the series, I want to focus on language or what we say (“expressive”) and what we understand others say to us (“receptive”).

Perhaps a better word than language is communication because only a percentage of what we communicate is auditory while a large part is body language, voice pitch and rate, and facial expression.  For a more detailed explanation, check into Neuro-Linguistic Programming (see “Recommended Reading” at the bottom of this page). In a nutshell, what a person hears is not necessarily what we believe we speak. Older people automatically have a disadvantage since the sense of hearing naturally worsens as we get older. Secondly, people with dementia have poorer memories so what they REMEMBER hearing is often not what was said. Thirdly, there becomes a disconnect between the communication received and that person’s reasoning, judgment, and decision making.  As a result, how they respond (say or do) can be totally unexpected based on what we spoke to them.

Some people naturally have difficulties with this processing and it becomes worse with dementia. We have to be careful: is the unexpected result because of that personality defect, the dementia, or the dementia making the defect worse? One true example: I have a friend whose mother is naturally stubborn about going to seek medical attention. As she gets older, she also needs more help but refuses to believe she has any problems that warrant going to her physician. She also has early dementia and has become lost several times. Still refuses help. When he phoned me last he was actually in town from California and the stress in his voice was undeniable. After helping arrange his mother’s affairs he suggested that he take her to get medical help the next day. She understood this to mean that he considered her weak and unable to take care of herself. She blew up at him and kicked him out of the house.

I think about scenarios like this a lot. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle mom or dad in a situation like this? My own advice is if there is more than one sibling involved, that they all stick together and not encourage or enable the demented parent to act on irrational judgments, reasoning, and decision making. Gently correct, be supportive of reasonable actions and words, and try not to blame each other or the parent for bubbles in the road.

Early stage dementia is the best time for medicinal and nutritional intervention. Get the parent’s doc involved. Consider gingkobiloba, Omega-3’s, and Vitamin E, all of which have been shown to help dementia but not necessarily prevent it. Mind exercises are good, too as is exercise and sleep. Consider getting help with anxiety and depression which often accompany aging and dementia itself. 

Click here for more information about dementia: Dementia Pictures Slideshow.