*As a nurse, what is the most disturbing "cultural practice" you have ever seen?"
The expected answer would be “female genital mutilation ” from cultural practices of “female circumcision”. That is abhorrent, and a lifetime burden for the young victim. It’s not often seen in North America. There is a more prevalent cultural practice, being seen more often, that can be deadly for more than one victim. That is the “cultural practice” of a wife not being “viewed” by a man other than her husband- even if the “man” is a life-saving doctor.
It was a small, 30-bed hospital in small-town Appalachia, which happened to be not far from I75N. The town was formerly a booming coal mining community, so there were fine mansions in the town, as well as crumbling trailers with McGivered wood stoves for heat on the mountain roads. Most of the businesses had closed in town. The biggest employer was Walmart - which was also the best source of food and clothing. All those folks you see on the “seen at Walmart” sites, live in towns like this one. There was one laundromat, which didn’t always have hot water. There was a decaying public school, and after 6th grade, it was a one-hour bus ride to middle school.
Why is this relevant? A hospital can only attract good staff physicians based on salary and quality-of-life. This town had no “quality-of-life”, so the salary was above the norm. Still, it was hard to attract permanent staff, and the hospital relied on “Locums” - moonlighting doctors looking for extra income. So, especially on weekends, when arriving at this emergency/urgent hospital; one must be grateful a board-certified physician was on call.
It was a blustery snowy night in the mountains of West Virginia. Precariously driving on I75N was a man and wife, who was 36 weeks pregnant. Her water broke, and sudden hard contractions commenced. The husband saw the H hospital- sign and made his way into the sleepy town. The ER recognised the critical imminent delivery, and called the Locum physician; a highly qualified OB/GYN from a major hospital. The OB doc was in-house, so the staff breathed a sigh of relief that all would be well. A stand-by call was made to the nearest NICU (1 ½ hours away) in case the baby needed special care. A helicopter would be dispatched at once.
BUT.
The Locum OB doc was male. The husband absolutely forbade the man to view his unclothed wife. The L&D nurses were female. Anesthesia was female. The husband was in the room, and he physically barricaded the door so that the OB doc could not enter.
The contractions got worse. Too close together, and mom screamed in pain and fear. Anesthesia called out that a C-section was needed NOW! Husband would not let the male OB specialist in the room. The nurses shouted out vital signs, contraction strength and duration, and lack of progress for cervical dilatation. The doc called back orders. Anesthesia called out falling VS. Mom pleaded with her husband to PLEASE let the doctor in to help. The nurses begged. Anesthesia begged. During this screaming session, a call was made to local social services, who arrived within minutes to advocate for the safety of mom and baby. Social Services notified the closest sheriff.
The Husband was adamant and aggressive. 6’2”, 200 lbs, and as aggressively angry as a confronted tiger His honour and his wife’s honour would be forever compromised if this unknown male saw his wife in such a naked and compromised position. It was not going to happen while he was there.
The female staff continued to relay information. The doctor continued to call out instructions. But the nurses, by law, could not perform the manoeuvres or procedures required to deliver the baby. Mom screamed. Cried. Pleaded.
Mom then started to cry and plead only for the baby. Pleaded for her husband’s son. Save your son! Your heir! Each cry was becoming weaker. And weaker. Until there were only gasps. Then the doctor overrode policy, and pushed past the husband guarding the door, and was rewarded with a knock-out punch to the head.
Now the doctor, the ONLY medical doctor within 60 miles able to assist with this complicated delivery, is unconscious on the floor. Mom is losing too much blood. The contractions are too strong, the cervix not dilated; this baby is not coming out.
Mom’s voice grew weaker. The husband demanded a female physician or he would sue. The nurses did as much as they could - but only the doc, out cold on the floor, could do the C-section that would save both mom and baby.
By the time police arrived, mom had died from placental abruption, loss of blood, and shock. The baby died in utero. Husband was screaming about suing the hospital as he was pulled away in handcuffs.
And that, was the most horrific case of “cultural practice” I have ever seen. I pray I never see it again. I might be the one to cold-punch the husband to the floor. Sue me for the lives I’ve saved.
My Comment
I was going to answer this until I read yours. This is absolutely horrific. I'm going to have nightmares tonight.
The only “what if" I can honestly put forward is this: What if the hospital had hired TWO security guards? I think that is the crucial question.
My heart bleeds for everyone, including the husband. But not for the hospital. I've said over and over again that while the overwhelming majority of physicians and nurses are motivated by healing first and money second, hospitals are now guided by three policies (in order): profit, image, and (maybe) healing third, as long as it doesn't interfere with the first two.
Why is this relevant to your account? Because hospitals are more concerned about risking a lawsuit over “cultural insensitivity” and the negative press they create than they are about healing.
“But Dr. Mangold, why does your heart bleed for hubby, the obvious cause of two deaths and the instigator of assault and battery?” Because he is obviously the victim of his own cultural upbringing. Where is the cultural awareness here? He didn't create his irrational jealousy on his own. It was learned. Dad taught him through example, education, and probably physical violence. Mom reinforced it. One of Dr. Mangold's Rules is that jealousy is a mental illness. And now his mental disorder has become a legal one. Unless he is a Malignant Narcissist or Sociopath, he has suffered enough. The death of a spouse is terrible. The death of a child? No parent should endure that. There ought to be a law that no kid dies before its parents.
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