“TO ERR IS HUMAN; TO FORGIVE, DIVINE”
--Alexander Pope
I have been
doing a little research on the role forgiveness has on healing. Ironically, I
found more material on the internet from secular sources such as the American Medical
Student Association (AMSA), Mormons (Church of Latter Day Saints), and
Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism than I did from mainline
Christian groups (exception, Matthew West: see link to right). This struck me as peculiar since Jesus lived a life forgiving
people, not only from sins they committed against God but also against himself:
“Father, forgive them, for they do
not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
From a medical standpoint, I will use sources such as the Luskin article in the
AMSA link above.
There are several health benefits
to true forgiveness. These include decreased anger and negative thoughts,
decreased anxiety, decreased depression and grief, and decreased vulnerability
to substance abuse. The latter includes alcohol and in some cases, nicotine
abuse. Do a self-experiment: remember a time when someone said or did something
to you that you consider a “sin” against you. It can be real or imagined:
imagined sins, as NLP
has taught us, feel real to us (as an important aside, I have coined a new word
“mangole” which is the ability take what someone has said that was meant to be
positive or at the best neutral, and twist it around until it becomes negative
and destructive to that person’s peace of mind. As in “I told her to let him
describe it for me but she mangoled it up until she convinced herself I told
her to shut up”). Now remember it in detail: the sounds, pitch of the voice,
visual cues, even the ambient temperature. Now note your heart and respiratory
rates. Perhaps even the flush of your skin. See how long-term sins can affect
you even now. I believe that if you truly forgive someone, you can recollect
that moment and not experience that negative zone. How do we do that?
My
personal approach is a combination of scientific (secular) practices such as
NLP, some Eastern influences such as mindfulness and meditation (although
meditation has also been a Christian practice and value throughout 2
millennia), and supposedly Christian values such as loving
your neighbor as yourself:
Find a place to relax that brings
you peace. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. I wish for
Christianity’s sake that the word “mantra” wasn’t so scary but having a word or
phrase to help you focus your concentration is a wonderful spiritual gift. Mine
is “Shalom.” When my thoughts wonder or when my breathing rate increases, I
repeat the word mentally. When you are relaxed and able to focus, bring to mind
the person who sinned against you again, real or imagined. Ask God to help you
forgive that person. With God’s help, forgive him or her. If there is any
tension involved with remembering the incident, ask God for more help. Give
thanks. Have peace in what you have done. You have done that not only for your
health but for your spiritual evolution. And importantly, for that other person.
It is a win-win situation.
